In the second century AD, the Roman emperor, Marcus Aurelius, wrote to himself in his Meditations: it is your duty to stand straight- not held straight. Aurelius, a Stoic, believed that self-reliance, acceptance of what cannot be changed and clarity of thought to be of utmost importance and crucial to a fulfilling life. Much of his writing and the writing of other Stoics served the basis for Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and other therapy approaches. Generally speaking, self-reliance to various degrees, has been the Holy Grail of many therapeutic approaches. Whilst self-reliance is believed to be a factor in developing resilience,
…Category: Relationships

Emotions seem to stir within us without much warning; some are easier to recognise than others – especially the ones that are more socially acceptable. We often try to extend those we perceive to be pleasant and avoid the disturbing ones. Wanting to avoid certain emotions has to do more with misunderstanding our relationship with emotions rather than the emotions themselves. Psychologists themselves can add to the confusion by dividing emotions into
This was written on a wall in a London restaurant/ bike shop. As it was not signed, I give it an anonymous credit. I was inspired and touched when I read it.
“In the end we all hope that what we do matters and whilst we can’t change the world, we can all change someone’s
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Getting to know ourselves is part of what therapy attempts to offer; thorough becoming aware of what drives us, our wishes and our fears, we can experience the wider spectrum of who we are. As I see it, psychotherapy’s role is not only to broaden this spectrum but also to enable us to navigate it more freely.
This means a journey to the edges of the spectrum of who we are. this can be painful, it takes us to where we are most uncomfortable and most vulnerable; this is also where our
…What makes psychotherapy work
The question why some people report making good use of therapy and others do not has been on my mind for a while. I believe it is important to understand what works and what doesn’t in therapy and adjust it accordingly. Research into therapy can help to keep it relevant and up to date.
The following thoughts are based on research by others (*) and my own ongoing research. There are many variables in therapy and accounting for all of them is not always possible, some are very subtle and others remain unknown. The following pie chart
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Beating the bounds is an ancient custom still observed in some English and Welsh parishes. Under the name of the Gangdays the custom of going a-ganging was kept before the Norman Conquest. A group of old and young members of the community would walk the boundaries of the parish, usually led by the parish priest and church officials, to share the knowledge of where they lay, and to pray for protection and blessings for the lands (Wikipedia).
Younger generations learned from older ones where
…An important talk by Matthew Lieberman, Ph.D about the importance of connecting with others.
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I love the thought of celebrating our teachers.We all learn, first by imitation and then by inspiration. We take tools that others have created before us and put them together in creative combinations that suit our new needs. And often we find it hard to admit that learn from others. Does it really matter where we get our inspiration from or who we have been imitating? To me what matters is that we can be inspired. Amongst the things we learn is the need to be original, but honestly, how
While how we feel about our relationships is in our heads, it doesn’t mean that they started in our heads and that they need to end there. Sometimes a small change in how we behave in a relationship is all that is needed to change how we feel about a relationship.
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