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While often viewed as the immediate prelude to intercourse, effective foreplay is what happens outside the bedroom. The word foreplay itself can be misleading; it suggests that whatever comes next – the play – is the prized activity. It is seen as the appetiser before the main meal, something to rush through to get to the “real thing”. But if we can broaden its definition, we can transform our understanding of sexual intimacy entirely – what if we stopped treating foreplay as merely a means to an end and started recognising it as valuable and pleasurable in its own right?

Here is a quote that made me think of the meaning of commitment and responsibility in relationships, regardless of status, married or not, same sex or heterosexual

“The job of the wife is to make a man of the boy she married; it is the job of the husband to make a woman of the girl he married”.

The way to do accomplish this is to behave as if they already are.

This takes me back to the words of Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:

“If you treat an individual as he is, he will remain how he is. But if you